Many people are experiencing some of life’s most serious stressors this summer. This is always true; it’s just that this summer I find myself surrounded by stressed out friends and acquaintances.

One person is moving across the country and isn’t sure she really wants to. Her elderly mother is scheduled to come with her, but her mother just landed in the hospital. Others I know are hospitalized too, and their loved ones are consumed by worry.

Some people are looking for work. Some hate their jobs. Some are facing major decisions and don’t yet know what they’ll decide to do.

Some are sick and tired of being sick. And some are just sad.

This week’s Torah portion is filled with commandments about how to live our lives, but few of them apply to my friends’ situations.  But one stands out. It says, “Do not be indifferent.” (Deuteronomy 22:3)

Elie Wiesel famously said that the opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. And the opposite of indifference? Kindness. When we show up for each other, when we honestly care about another person, we can help ease their pain and perhaps make their day a little easier.

And so the best that I can do is I find myself on the phone every day with one friend or another, listening, sympathizing, and sometimes simply agreeing that yes, it really sucks.

That’s all they want. They don’t want me to try to cheer them up or give advice. They simply want to be heard, to have someone acknowledge that their pain is real.

We can forget that even the happiest life events are stressful. Moving into a beautiful new home isn’t easy. Neither is planning a wedding. There are a million details to juggle, and inevitably exhaustion kicks in. Those are the moments when we can become irritable and even unkind to those whom we love the most.

Kindness. Such a simple concept, and yet sometimes it feels out of reach, or not appropriate to the situation. When someone is unkind to us our response can be immediate and visceral, and in self-defense we often respond similarly. And sometimes the person to whom we are the most unkind is ourselves.

In this month of Elul, the month of introspection and preparation for the High Holy Days, I suggest we make an effort to be kind and sympathetic, both to those around us and to ourselves. We can’t avoid pain, but we can avoid the pitfall of indifference.