Let the produce be fresh and crisp,
and let there be
Just one more jar of
Kosher-for-Passover mayonnaise left.
You see, I forgot that there is school next week.
And tuna fish falls off matza sandwiches so easily
When it is not held together with enough mayonnaise.
God, please let everyone be well for the two Seder nights.
And while You’re at it, could You please
Keep everyone healthy and safe the rest of the year, too?
And if You don’t make me spend
Hours swabbing chicken pox with calamine lotion,
I promise that I will devote the leisure
To ecology and UJA and things like that.
For I have labored so long to make everything right and lovely.
Suffer not their little fingers to spill wine on the tablecloth
and carpeting; it never seems to come out.
And let them pipe the Mah Nishtanah and Chad Gadya
In such abundant glee and wisdom
As to make the carpool line at Hebrew School worth it.
King of the Universe, it seems
That I will never get all these dishes changed
And everyone’s clothes ready, and all the chametz
Out of the house in time. So remember, Dear Lord,
To please make sure Molly Maids show up.
Master of the World:
Let each year our table be fuller
Not only with Your bounty, but with people –
All our loved ones, dear friends, new babies
And young lovers shyly brought home
And next year let us see our banquet seats overflowing
With our long-lost brothers and sisters who still crouch in fear.
God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob,
Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah: let me not,
In the hustle and rush of preparation, forget what
The Passover really means.
P.S. I didn’t write this; if you know who’s the author please let me know and I’ll give credit where credit is due.