This week’s Torah portion has what we like to call Abraham’s test. It is the Akeda, the binding of Isaac.

We argue about whether or not Abraham passed the test. But I believe that the important point is that it was just one in a long series of tests, beginning with God‘s first command to Abraham, Lech L’cha, get up and go. In fact, at the beginning of this test, God says the exact same thing.

It may be the mood that I’m in lately, but I am coming to believe that life is one big, long, test. It never ends. Just like Abraham, we are always being tested.

It reminds me of the story of Nachshon and crossing the Reed Sea. You know the story; the children of Israel were trapped between the sea and the advancing Egyptian army. Moses raised his staff, and the waters dramatically parted, allowing the people to escape and the Egyptians to be drowned.

But there is a version that says the water didn’t part completely. There was still water in their way. Nachshon waded in, first up to his knees, his thighs, his waist, his shoulders, up to his neck. It wasn’t until the water was as high as his mouth that the sea parted.

But not all the way. His leap of faith had to be repeated, step, by step, by step. It took the entire crossing for the Sea of Reeds to part completely, and only then did it allow the entire community to pass.

That’s how I feel. Every day is a new exercise in trying to be my highest self. The task is never done because every new day is a new test.

This is the point when someone usually quotes Rabbi Tarphon from the Talmud. He famously said that it is not yours to complete the task, but you may not desist from it.

But every once in a while, it would be nice to think that we had finished. That, for example, we had already marched and lobbied and made abortion safe and accessible. We thought we were done with that task.

I know this is wishful thinking on my part. It’s just that, as I enter into older age, a huge part of me wants to just stop trying to be a good person, stop striving to make the world a better place. It would be so much easier.

But the world needs so much healing. It seems to me that every day the news of the future gets bleaker, as we read the names of the people who the next American president plans to put in power. From my perspective, none of this is good news.

With gratitude to so many of you for encouraging me to keep writing, I will continue. I will keep trying to be my highest self. I will keep trying to tell the truth. I will keep trudging through the daily test. I will keep trying to make this world a Garden where we can, finally, rest.

Shabbat shalom.